You know that feeling when something super amazing happens in your life and you’re excited to celebrate with someone special?!
Sometimes your happiness is met with genuine enthusiasm and pure joy. But sometimes it isn’t.
Your positive news might be met with what feels like a negative response. It may seem like the person is raining on your parade, trying to one up you, or in some cases trying to make you feel guilty for what you have accomplished.
Why Does This Happen?
Most would say the other person is jealous of you. Some would call them selfish. A few might even say the other person is simply concerned about your well-being and doesn’t want to see you make a mistake.
But a truth that is often overlooked is that it’s hard to be happy for someone else if you aren’t happy with yourself. Yes, people who struggle to find true happiness in their own life would naturally be challenged in feeling real happiness for someone else.
Makes sense, right?! It’s the same as asking someone who’s broke to lend you $5. If they don’t have the resources to take care of themselves they likely won’t have it to give to you.
Don’t Take It Personal
When we feel like others don’t want to participate in our joy it hurts. We feel that sadness because we assume we’re at fault or that the other person has it out for us. Neither is true.
Know that it isn’t personal.
A co-worker who isn’t happy for your promotion could be wishing to make progress in their own career. A parent unhappy with their child going to college could be upset at the thought of having an empty nest. A friend who frowns on the success of your business could be struggling with the failure of their own.
Any of those situations on the surface could be labeled as “this person isn’t happy for me”. However, at the core, at a second look, none of them are personal at all.
What Can You Do?
It might be tempting to get mad or assign some negative label to the person who isn’t able to share your joy. However, the best thing you can do is shift your mindset.
Here are 3 things you can do to make the situation more positive.
- Hold Onto Your Own Happiness
It might be tempting to downplay your happiness so that others aren’t uncomfortable. Don’t. Enjoy your moment. Celebrate on your own terms in a way that allows you to fully express how happy you really are.
- Accept The Other Person As They Are… Or Don’t
When someone isn’t happy for you it’s tempting to label them as jealous, self-centered, or controlling. Yet, those labels won’t get you to your end destination which is to enjoy your moment. You can accept the other person as they are or you can choose not to. Accepting them means knowing they may not react the way you’d hope and not letting that get to you. If you can’t accept that you might filter wwhich information you share with them.
- Find Others Who Want To Celebrate With You
There is someone in your life who wants to celebrate with you. It might be a teacher, a classmate, a co-worker, or even someone in a Facebook forum of like-minded people. Know that there is always someone who wants to see you succeed. That person might be a total stranger, and that’s OK.